Hangover Blues!

Adolf and I spent an enjoyable Friday evening, sipping cocktails and sharing a few laughs. I know what your thinking... " you and Adolf ??? What? ...not fighting?"
Contrary to the dissertations of one deranged individual ( I'm not mentioning any names) we do actually get along....some of the time.

At any rate... somewhere along the line, I must have been enjoying myself a little too much...because one minute, I was laying languorously on the sofa laughing, the next I was sprawled out over the toilet bowl, heaving and retching, clinging to the toilet for dear life....see picture above

I do remember, at one point, hearing Adolf saying..You Okay in the there? No, I sob.
An hour later.. I crawl out of the bathroom, on all fours and climb my way up into bed..and there lays Adolf, sleeping soundly with only a slight smile on his face....Fucker!

Maggots!

Oh, Where oh Where, can my taxes be.....the decay took them away from me.

Adolf and I are in the process of buying a home...again! You would think, that I would have learned a few things from the first-go-round....NOT.

I've spent the better part of the day on a futile quest to track down 3 years of tax returns for the kind man at the bank.

Picture this..if you will..

Me, on my hands and knees, on a freezing cement floor, wading in a stinking, decaying, dark and damp basement digging through 10 years of shit! WHAT KIND OF IDIOTS KEEP, ALL OF THIS CRAP?

After numerous bouts of hysterics, outcries of obscenities, and annihilating a trinket or two, by smashing them against the far wall...I came across, what looked like a box of important papers. HALLELUJAH!!!!

I reach in, with high hopes....I pull out piles of greenish-black, sodden, festering bits of decomposing paper, teeming with maggots and mold. ARRGGHHHHH!!!!

I jump up and down, like the imbecile, that I am, screaming and flapping my arms , all the while shreeking...Fuck, Fuck Fuck!!!!

I HATE MAGGOTS! They creep me out!

Now, here is where, living out in the country, comes in handy. Because with all certainty, if I had, had any neighbors, they would have surely, had me hauled out in a straight jacket, right there on the spot.

Moral of the story: Stop renting old ass houses!

A.....dolf is for Asshole!

I set out today....to blog in a state of serenity...in a stream of conscious rhapsodies of peace and good will...but it didn't quite work out that way.
Instead I'm a sad example of insatiable hostility and aching fits of jealous rage.
I can't help myself...Adolf is perpetually pissing me off!
He's gotten awful cocky lately. I guarantee you, that it stems from him cavorting with his divorced buddies, at work....and if he doesn't watch his ass, he'll soon be sharing an apartment with one of 'em.
His tone has become short, snippy, and matter-of-factly.
Matter-of-fact this, you piece of intestinal fortitude! I will wipe that smirk, right off your egotistical ass faster that you can say "jack rabbit".
Okay, Okay..I realize that I could benefit from anger management classes, but that doesn't change the fact that I'm fending off a primordial urge to gouge his eyeballs out with my bare fingers!
How is it, that we let these men, take over our lives and let them drive us to these irrepressible places within our selves?