The Miracle of Makeup

Do you ever walk around, strutting your stuff, thinking you look damned good for 40?
Feeling all self-inflated, hip, and cool? I know, you know what I'm talking about. Yeah, well I did too, until Monday!
Hello Reality Check!

I spent Sunday evening and most of Monday morning, crouched between the toilet bowl and tub, having temporarily lost the capacity to move due to an overwhelming urge to erupt from both ends. Combine this with a delirium of fever & chills along with incessant waves of nausea, and I was a sight to behold. I was certain that death was near. Now I know, that your probably thinking, that I had a hangover...I did not! this time....
By 5am I managed to rouse Adolf from his sleeping Abyss and asked to be taken to the ER. Anyway..... to make a long story short I was diagnosed with a nasty case of the stomach virus, and was told to wait it out...
On my way out of the ER, $100 bucks lighter and nonetheless sicker than a dog, I happened to glance at my reflection in the mirror.....JESUS H. CHRIST!!! Who the fuck was that looking back at me!
Somebody had replaced me with a pasty pale, hollow, sickening sagging bag of a person. For a split second, I thought I was being punked...but NO...It was me...
What the Fuck! I have since vowed, that no matter how sick I am, whether half dead, dying, having a stroke, or being run over by a truck, that I will NEVER, EVER, leave the house without my makeup again!