Me And My Big Fat..............

Black Thumb!

Earlier his summer, In my endeavor to righteously consume fresh, organic, local produce...I ventured into the world of gardening! (truthfully it was effort to reduce my grocery bill but that's beside the point )

I planted a selection of essential goodies: Red Peppers, Tommy Toe Tomatoes, Basil, Thyme, Rosemary, and Parsley! I painstakingly planted my first seeds......... tenderheartedly. I felt connected, as my hands cultivated the wet, earthy soil beneath my fingers.....

Today, however, is August 12 th and thus far, I have managed to obliterate every single one of my saplings, with the exception of one measly Tommy Toe tomato plant! And by measly, I mean....one hell of a pathetic, bug ridden, yellow leafed , hideous specimen of a plant..that has thus far yielded one little fucking tomato. ( By the way..how do you kill rosemary, its a bush, for Christ sake)

Atilla and I have been fighting over the little turd, since it first emerged about 3 weeks ago...but the little bastard is still as green and hard as ever! I am fantasizing about maliciously plucking the little shit and frying it green, just for spite!